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Much Going on Since My Adieu

Sat Dec 29, 2007, 4:51 PM
  • Mood: Daily Needs
  • Listening to: Nuthin
  • Reading: Nuthin
  • Watching: The PC screen
  • Playing: Nuthin
  • Eating: Teriakii Chicken Bowl
  • Drinking: Sunkist
I have had to visit a "cozy" (aka crazy) little hospital called the Excel Center in Ft. Worth cuz I have gone a little bonkers in the chemistry and mind. So I'm about to pull all that together soon and should be out by the 12th or so. I had run down with some Psycosis and Major Depression, which hand and hand makes a clingy, obsessive person who is sad all the time. Medicine helps great. I finally have a smile on my face. The terrible bitting agony of Depression weighed on me the first time I went there. I had lost a considerable amount of weight (which was very good for me, but darn, I think I've gained it back, FATZO!) I was vomiting, sluggish, couldn't think, couldn't sleep, broke into fits of shivering, and altogether was down right miserable. The medicine has fixed me up well and therapy does some work as well. So things are starting to look brighter at the end of the tunnel finally.
It was not many months ago that my family and I were haggling with medicines and doctors to try and find out what the matter was with me. Nothing was working. I got worse and worse, until I spiraled out of control into a state that I couldn't function around my peers at school or do school work. I got sick and was a hypochondriac all after that. I worried and was so nervous constantly after that, I shivered all the time. Vomited when I tried to eat stuff too. And It started with an obsession over a boy. A friend that I wanted to be more than just a friend. I wanted him as a boyfriend too. He was not at all willing. He said no, and I couldn't get over the rejection. I followed him, stalked him, tried to kiss him and so many other things to try and make him like me. Still he refused. I was hurt, hurt deeply by this. I thought he was the one, because he just seemed so perfect, so sweet and a real man that I could spend the rest of my life with.......and he says no......'sniff'......he said no....and he continued to look me directly in the face with those gorgeous steel blue green eyes and tell me he's not the one......'sniff'...........no..........Its hard for me to take "no" for an anwser, especially from someone who has witnessed to me and introduced me so tenderly to Jesus the great romance! Fine........I said.....fine........you are not the one......that's what I will say........we will agree on terms to be good friends.....nothing ELSE.....just good friends that can be forever friends rather than a boyfriend and girlfriend that wil fizzle out in a few months......that is the best way to go.......he would make a better friend than a boyfriend anyways. He's too much of a jerk and hes so skinny. I could break him in half with my hug alone. heh heh. Well done.
So I'm worried about finals that either I'll have to take, or I am exempt from or I won't have to cause of my illness. I have gallons to study for and I don't even know if any of it will retain! Most of it falls out! Which so TOTALLY SUCKS BRAINS!! REALLY! But other wise I'm great with playing games all the time, chillin out, and just enjoying myself. It gets kinda boring though, but I HATE THE STRESS of the study. I stress up really hard on myself to do all the work! ITS TOUGH WORK! Thats about it.

Hope

Fri Sep 21, 2007, 8:00 PM
  • Mood: Emotional
  • Listening to: God
  • Reading: God
  • Watching: God
  • Playing: life
  • Eating: HIS BREAD
  • Drinking: HIS WATER
Hope. What glimmers on high. Even as the sun dies, we have hope. Even as the heavens come crashing down to smother the earth, we have hope.

To love one another like Jesus did is an incredibly hard thing as one can see from just many people on this site. Terribly sad. Love your neighbor as yourself..........incredibly, mercilessly hard.....but for those in God's grace and love......things are made a little easier.....

To know we won't have one another for long.........is sad........

To know life on Earth will be terminated at a single word from Jesus is......................wordless.....

To know one life has been made easier......to know one person has been saved and returned to God's loving arms..........is a wonderful thing.........how I long to minister and meet someone who will be saved! As I was one of them.........one of the lost sheep........the dead sheep............a monstrosity........but saved anyways....is beautiful......

To know Lord God and Jesus are always there right beside us........though we can not see them........when we cry.........they comfort us..........when we are sick......they heal us.......when we sleep.........they marvel at our quiet or funny life.........when we dance........they party with us........when we are in trouble......they console us and give us help........

In all ways.......THEY are beautiful.......

There is so much proof that Christianity is true! They found Noah's ark, Egyptian chariots under the sea, the Dead sea scrolls, and so much more! Rumor has it they have even found the past garden of Eden.............and the new Heaven........whoah........amazing......

And I do not care what people cruelly say anymore............I love them all the more......and I deal with their words accordingly......blow them away like chaff........for they are nothing.......nothing......nothing according to Jesus and our Heavenly Father........how I love them........and how I will not be afraid as to what cruel future awaits me........let it be.......I say let it be by God's Will........oh......he is so gorgeous.....so beautiful......so loving....infinite praise be ordained to Him........

LOVE THE PEOPLE, NOT THE SIN. LOVE JESUS, NOT IDOLS. LOVE TRUTH, NOT LIES. LOVE WHAT CARES ABOUT YOU, NOT WHAT JUST SAYS SO TO USE YOU. TAKE LOVE, NOT, AND NEVER, HATE. AMEN.

Life or Death Debate for God: Comments on GOD IS W

Tue Aug 7, 2007, 2:32 PM
  • Mood: Emotional
  • Listening to: God
  • Reading: God
  • Watching: God
  • Playing: life
  • Eating: terriacki chicken
  • Drinking: Diet Sunkist
Telltale-Incite: Abortion isn't murder. e_e Murder is premeditated malice, and there's no malice in a mother who is attempting to make sure a life she brings into the world is going to be happy. And don't you dare say 'ADOPTION AGENCIES!' we've overfilled those.

At any rate, a fetus can't feel for the first two trimesters, hence it won't understand what is happening to it. It hasn't even started to make dendrite in the brain, or even connect synapses.

Besides, there's more reasons to have an abortion than just "I don't want eeeet". Some women cannot physicially, mentally, emotionally, or financially support a child. Personally, abortion is a-okay with me, as long as the woman does it for reasons other than "OMG, I dun't wanna it!" and as long as the father has a say in it.

Just wanted to give my two cents that I think it's rubbish for people to say it's 'killing'. Especially if you aren't a vegetarian, cause you're killing animals just to eat. At any rate, our population is too high, adoption agencies are too full, abortions are needed, even if restrained to some extent.


BirdWanderer: If I said a thing about it, you would wig out. But what do you people care anyways. Cuss me out all you want, I will just delete your mail or forget it, thankfully. In fact, it must feel great to be hated just for loving "life", Jesus, our LORD, and the Holy Spirit. I tell the truth. If you do something you know is plain sick or not right, you just wait ......................ha............you just wait.......................literally......................

Telltale-Incite: Abortion isn't plain sick, or not right. It's perfectly fine. Keeps the population down, which in turns gives more food around for those children that ARE wanted. *smiles*

PROHIBITING a woman from having an abortion is wrong. It is sick, and wrong to make a woman carry a child she and the father have no want of it, no way to support, and/ or no emotional, mental, or physical standing to care for it. Adoption agencies are overrun as is, and it's simply more human to abort a fetus when it doesn't even understand the world around it. If an abortion is done early enough, chances are the fetus doesn't even feel what happens to it, since nerves haven't had a chance to connect a full route to the brain.

If you say that your Saviour, Jesus, doesn't a child to be aborted, and would rather it grow up in a home where it is possibly abused, in debt, or any other number of problems that could happen, then your Saviour is not benevolent, or loving. He's a dick.

Also, if you're Pro-Life, are you vegetarian? If not, what do you think makes your bacon in the morning? The meat on your hamburger? Animals. No matter what you say, animals are living organisms too, and if you drool over eating meat then you're no Pro-Lifer. Pro-fetus, yes, but not pro-life.


BirdWanderer: They refer pro-life to the kids and the fetuses that will live. Not animals. So shoot me. There's another kid to feed! Shoot yourself. There's now 2 more kids to feed. Obviously you're as set in your ways as mine, so I hereby end the discussion..........I've seen enough bloody hands.


Telltale-Incite: You have literally seen bloody hands? Well, talking about a fetus, of course there'll be blood, since you're taking it out of a woman's body, who is sustaining its life. So, it's not really the FETUS'S Blood, but the woman's own blood, whose life may be saved by having an abortion due to physical problems. At least until the fetus can make its own blood, the blood is still the mother's. Which, I'm not sure when in the cycle that happens for the fetus to start making its own blood. But still. It's not evil when it's the blood of the saved patient.

And, you know, I hate that saying. "Their blood will be on your hands". Well, no duh. If you're going through a surgery, no one makes a hissy fit about blood. But, OHNOES! You remove a little thing, which is best described as a parasite if the host/mother doesn't want it, and suddenly it's EVIL! Yeah, y'know what? I don't mind if other people don't want to have abortions themselves - hell, I might never have one since I feel squeamish about the whole proccess - but I HATE it when people want to restrain the right of everyone else to make them bow down to their choice.

No one would FORCE you to have an abortion yourself, but DO NOT feel so self-righteous that you have to make other people suffer for your choice of not having an abortion. You've gotten a choice in the matter, and that is that you'll never have an abortion; shouldn't everyone else get to choose if they want an abortion or not?

Okay, I'm done ranting.


BirdWanderer: :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::(
Well, I still love you guys. Even if you wear dead kids or have your own "happy boing time" (use your imagination) or are in a "magic" church/temple/whatever, I have no choice......................All I can say is that's a shame.............especially if the kid is your own...........even if it is the kid of a rapist or a murderer.........how about you just go ahead and gut your wife? Or father? Or husband? Boyfriend? Girlfriend? Geez, how about just all of them? It would be "population control" after all............B(


Telltale-Incite: An unwanted fetus cannot live on its own. And it would already contribute to the growing population toll. Already living humans have no choice but to live out their life, unless they want to be euthanized.

As for "happy boing time", yes. I do that. It's a release, and it helps me to sleep. It does no wrong, no matter what you or any social entity says. And, by the way, I don't wear dead kids, they get too moldy and nasty. But, if you own leather, you're wearing a life right there. =O Cow. Poor cow had to give up ITS life for your hairless body. Not it's fault that it had to be born with fur, and you weren't.

At any rate, there's a difference between a human born, and an unborn unwanted fetus. I'm not saying gut everyone. Just don't force children on people when they don't want them, and when it would ecologically be saner to just abort it since it'll just be another mouth hogging food that could go to a more needy child in a third-world country.


BirdWanderer: Ok. Fine. It definetelly makes from your point of view and the enormous majority of the population on Earth, but have you ever imagined it from the kid's point of view? People starve for a reason, not because just 3 more kid's in America took their food. It's either their govenment, their religion, their parents, the land, or the economics or even the neighbors. And when they die, people recognize it, and start to think. After they think, they try to balance the imbalance in food. Those who starve were meant to starve. And eventually, things happen. People have delt with this stuff for over 2000 years. As for choices, that's why we live in America. Every life deserves to at least have a try, wether it means you are in pain all your life, retarded, insane, deformed, and other things. It is people who make the choice to have sex before marrige, and those who are raped usually die or get counseled and start over. There are celebrities who have been abused, starved, or raped, but now they have grown up to make a difference in it, even those who were born as result of a rape.

So, how on earth does that "hbt" affect your relationships? Do you have to go to some private place to do it? Does your family know about it? Thing's have their limits, and we both have our societies on either side for us. I have mine who agree with me, you have yours who agree with you. One way or another, either one of us could wipe out the other society, which is currently happening in other countries too. But the "Godly" will eventually prevail, whether they spawned from the "Ungodly" or not. Good will prevail. Bad will at first choke up all the Good, but the Good will come eventually. That is how THIS life on Earth is. I mean not to start prove you wrong or start up violence, but if it happens, it happens by God's Will. Nothing remains unwatched by His eyes. And the time will come when all of you guys come to kill all of us, and by then God will have made his choice. If we die, we die. If there is no Heaven, there is no Heaven. If there is no Hell, there is no Hell. And if Earth is struck by another space body, so be it.

The animals we kill, it turns out, were MEANT for that. They live in luxury (or not) all their lives for high quality stuff or to rip off other people or provide entertainment or food. They don't have enough reasoning to know that they are being raised for food or that they are being killed. They go by instinct and by what God wants them to be "programed" for. If you choose to be vegetarian, cool, but know how much "pain" and how many plants you or other's kill to eat themselves. Some say even plants feel a sort of "pain". Otherwize we would have no plants. They would never respond to something attacking them, eating them, or etc. They have evolved their own ways to cope, just like insects and humans. There is a reason why other animals didn't rise above us and dominate the world. Ever thought of that? Some dinosaurs were supposed to have even better brain-mass-per-body-unit-ratio than even us. Had God not decided to create us to be especially like him and to dominate, we probably would have been taken over by dinosaurs. Check that out.

People seek for their own forfillments and pleasure. Whichever one does the best to just "Live", lives. Those who seek for their own pleasure all the time eventually get addicted to it and without it, either learn to cope, or go insane and get killed. At one time or another, there was a point where we saw what happened when you do good or when you do bad and it's consequences. We seek not to bring all the Good to us, but to counsel and change those who are stuck in bad and addicted or just don't get it. Once you understand some things in order to either promote life or death, you will learn from the consequences. Or you die. That is life.

Heed my words carefully, think about your life and where it should be going, and that WE all make mistakes. All it takes is for one to just believe that Christ did die for us, Christ rose back to life because of God, and that God made him get tortured to die for all the bad we had done and to show us the right way. The way of true Love, because God is Love. And he even loves you and wants you to just listen and come close to him while living the mere wisp of life on Earth. He wants to forgive you for all the known bad you have done, and are doing. Society shuns the things God shuns. God didn't purposely want to make things easy for us both to see, hear, feel, grow in, and etc. He wants us to grow strong for him, so we can resist all evil and be with him as His sons and daughters. He wants you to come to Him, to experience Godly pleasures, and to come with Him to Heaven through his only Son, Jesus Christ. He does love you, whether you choose to believe it or not, and He will show you by His ways. You can say sorry for all the "sins" you have ever done, and he will be more than happy to forgive, and you will feel happy, even if it doesn't come right away. I suffered tremedously, and seek to help those who don't know today. I want to help, not to hurt. And I would never see you as inferior to me.

*For all those who believe in the Lord's Will, copy this whole thing and send it out to others! For it is said, "Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age." Matthew 28:19-20 NIV. Verse's found on BibleGateway.com*

VARY NIZE!

Tue Jun 19, 2007, 8:25 PM
  • Mood: Sentimental
  • Listening to: Pokemon Game Fire Red
  • Reading: my game boy screen
  • Watching: the computer screen+game boy sceen
  • Playing: Pokemon FireRed
  • Eating: air
  • Drinking: air
YAY!! Schools out!!! AND I just got back from Galveston TX! XD WOW it was fun! We got nasty sunburns though.....plus I was socially unaccepted and picked on....yeah....fun? NOT!! But it was cool I guess. Just the people I was with were'nt so cool. Then I went to a grad. party at an excellent Christian triplet friend of mine! (SO COOL!! I LOVE THE UNUSUAL!! THANKIE GOD!) The party was AWESOME and so was everything else! (FOR ONCE MY PARENTS LET ME GO TO THEIR HOUSE!! UGHH!!) So YAY!! Then Im having another friend over at my house tommorow!! YAY!! DOUBLE YAY!! We havent met up with each other for a year!!! YAY!! YAY!! YAY!!! God has also anwsered short prayers as I played the old version of Pokemon Pinball. IT WAS AWESOME!! HALLELUJIA!! I KNOW HE IS LISTENING NOW!!! HE WILL ANWSER OUR PRAYERS!!! GO TO JESUS TOO!! HE ANWSERED MINE TOO!!! THEY ARE THE BEST HEAVENLY PARENTS IN THE WORLD!! I :heart: THEM LIKE CRAZY!!! :) ahhhhh. Life is good. Even in a stinky old house FILLED with rats and dogs and cockroaches and vermin. Life is good. I have guys I can admire *sigh, Viggo Mortensen* and various video games and things I can play! I have a horse, PLENTY of dogs, a CYUTE cat that is my own, and drugs, and AC, and loving parents not seperated by divorce, many good supporters and friends, and everything a person could possibly need. =) life is good! And I end this with GOD SAVE AMERICA! DESTROY ALL PORN! and GOD, ANWSER THE PRAYERS OF THE PEOPLE I HAVE SEEN AND THE PRAYERS I HAVE READ AND ETC. WE NEED A BETTER WORLD!!

Kate

Drugs makin me tired.. YP

Sat Jun 2, 2007, 7:26 PM
Random stuff just pops into my head. I feel VERY sleepy:
Homo resus, al ca pesus
duber squat n' port a pot
Bippitty Boppity Boo, uh
This Orange says Hi and I then put chapstick on it. Then it says wanna have sex? And I throw it against the wall. It grows legs and turns into this funky demon and starts humping my leg. Outa nowhere, I bring out this flame thrower and torch it. It sreams and dies. wow. :'

  • Mood: Tired
  • Listening to: nothing
  • Reading: nothing
  • Watching: the computer screen
  • Playing: watching the computer screen
  • Eating: peanut butter crackers
  • Drinking: Diet Sunkist

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